A Poem: The Water

Sometimes I stare at the water,
It seems so far away,
I think about the life I’m living, today,
What if I,
Jump aboard a boat, and believe that it would,
Take me to another place,
A place where my soul is not bothered by ghosts of months before,
And a heart that used to feel so much love, isn’t anymore so sore,
From the hurt of heartbreak and the fall of love,
The water seems so perfect,
Ripples do often fade,
But water is never still,
Summertime swimming knows me best,
For there were many times underwater I was,
And naked my eyes were,
Don’t open your eyes underwater without goggles!”
They would often tell me,
Over and over,
But yet, day by day, there I was,
Eyes naked underneath in the calm waters,
Only learning my lesson when I emerge and feel that warm sting overcome my eyes,
And the red veins appeared,
Little did I know this would be comparable to my life story,
Eyes wide open, without proper protection,
Loving endlessly and left with a warm bitter sting of disappointment.



Until next time…

Master and Commander, Fjb


Poem: Unsaved

My eyes are wide open,
And the veil has been lifted,
And this wasn’t supposed to happen,
I’m suffering more than I seem,
I must admit it,
Stuck alone on this island,
Of misery and grief,
My SOS is unheard, no rescue or relief,
You said your signals were mixed,
You’re overwhelmed with guilt,
But when you shot out your flare,
And blew smoke out to the sky,
The message was crystal clear,
I guess I couldn’t see through your disguise,
Another defeat,
Another cry,
I can’t ever get this right,
And the same situations often repeat,
I hope you look back and see all that you took from me,
And prevent the destruction of another soul,
With your back and forth, and all of your maybe’s,
No amount of power can take this love away,
You’ll always remain within this deep scathing scar,
Never fully healed and always a bit open,
I have to look past you now,
Bitter and broken.


Master and Commander, FjB

Moving Forward.

Greetings readers,

Life has been moving along these days and passing by quite quickly as well. I haven’t been writing lately and not sure that has been helping my current state of mind. As usual, I wish I had all of the right answers and I wish I could change certain situations that are out of my control. The holidays are here and along with it all of my fears and uncertainties. I wrote this poem a few weeks ago that I’d like to share. Although my life was a little different then, I feel it still accurately represents what I am going through. Enjoy.

Here comes the fall,
I’m in it now,

And I’ve lost it all,
Still asking myself, how?
Here comes the truth,
I have to hear it now, 
I want to fight, but what’s the use?
I can hear the walls falling,
It’s much too loud,
You left me here, and continue to play with my heart,
Up and down, here, not there,
Where do I start?
You’ve broken my soul,
There’s nothing left,
Darkness has taken a hold,
Over everything I kept,
Clutching hard to the memories and what we used to have,
I wish you loved me more,
Than you do your demons,
For then we could survive,
Hand in hand, heart in heart,
I fear every time you come, you’ll leave again,
And here I’ll be,
Still broken, not mended. 

Until next time…

Master and Commander, FjB


Poem of the Day

Greetings readers,

I am still on my journey to find peace and happiness. I don’t have much to say but I’d like to share one of my favorite poems from the book The Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, by J.R.R Tolkien that has always resonated with me but now more than ever. Enjoy.

“All that is Gold does not Glitter,
Not all those who Wander are Lost,
The old that is Strong does not Wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost,
From the ashes a Fire shall be Woken,
A Light from the shadow shall Spring,
Renewed shall be Blade that was Broken,
The Crownless again shall be King”

– J.R.R. Tolkien

Until next time…

-Master and Commander, FjB



I’m looking around at all of this blank space,
I close my eyes,
Feeling this emptiness that is slowly invading my soul,
And pulling my life from me,
As I watch from the sidelines,
I open my eyes and to no surprise,
Still –
Not –
Gasping for air and only inhaling water,
I’m turning the pages of this wordless book,
Page after page,
Blank space after blank space,
Trying to find the end, but what, end?
What will be the end to this strung out story?
My love is my disease and this disease is spreading,
Taking control of my bloodstream, shriveling my cells,
The only cure I know,
…Is you,
But you’re too far away,
Like an astronomer, wishing that they could travel above and join the stars & the moon,
But there’s no travel out there for me,
No train I can catch nor a plane I can fly on,
I’m left sitting here, in the vast darkness that is my heart.