This is a poem I wrote over the weekend and it best expresses the way I am feeling at this time in my life. I am planning on reading it live at open mic night this week and hope that it can give me some type of release.
Now means today,
Now, and you’re so far away,
My worst fears have come alive,
I’ve been cut with the swift slice of Goodbye,
Burning up my insides,
Intestines full of both fire and ice,
How could you just leave? Leave me here incapable of speaking precise.
Left here with my thoughts,
My mind continuously running and it can’t seem to stop,
Why? Why him?
Why? Why me?
Why? Why we?
Defeated yet again,
By the battles of Love’s untimely end,
We said forever and ever, and you said “I won’t ever let go”,
Now look where we are, this box full of clothes,
How do you fight in a game you’ve already lost?
A game you didn’t know you were playing, until you were served up the cost.
I’m broken and so incredibly lost,
Not able to sleep, barely able to walk,
I did not get a final goodbye to sweet little Z,
He and I bonded over video games and swimming,
It pains me at the thought of not knowing what he may believe,
That maybe I didn’t care or maybe that I wanted to leave,
How I’ve spent my days,
No laughter, no chatter, to break this haze,
Don’t look at me now, for you’ll turn to stone,
Queen of the damned, I guess I’ll sit on this throne. ~
Until next time…
–Master and Commander, FjB